Day -1: Getting there (eventually)

I don’t know what’s happened to Southwest Airlines lately, but they appear to be getting bad advice from Strategic Consultants, who are telling them that to be successful, they need to emulate all the things that people hate about other airlines. In this case, baggage restrictions.

A closed hard-shell bike case, labeled as "CARGO CASE: PERFORMANCE". A tape measure runs along the top of the case, measuring approximately 47".

I’ve been flying with this Performance Bike-branded hard-shell case for at least 30 years. I’ve often been charged an absurd amount of money to bring it along, but I’ve never been denied boarding. This time, the baggage folks at the Southwest counter when they told me I couldn’t bring it.

Their web page on sports equipment said (at the time of my travel):

Bicycles. Bicycles (defined as non-motorized and having a single seat), including Bike Friday and Co-Pilot, properly packed in a hard bicycle box that fall within the dimensions and weight limits established for normal checked baggage, (i.e., 62 inches or less in overall dimensions and less than 50 pounds in weight). Pedals and handlebars must be removed and packaged in protective materials so as not to be damaged by or cause damage to other baggage. Bicycles packaged in cardboard or soft-sided cases will be transported only with a limited release of liability. Customers are not entitled to reimbursement or compensation for damage in situations where a limited release of liability applies. See Specialized sports equipment below for information regarding bicycles that exceed our checked baggage size/weight limits.

Overall dimensions of 62 inches applies only to folding bikes; any full-sized bike will “exceed our checked baggage size/weight limits.” OK, but what’s the policy on oversized baggage? There’s nothing about bicycles “below” that section on the page. There’s a different page with the following:

Bicycles (defined as non-motorized and having a single seat) properly packed in a bicycle box or hard case from 51 to 100 pounds in weight or 63 to 80 inches in total dimensions. Pedals and handlebars must be removed and packaged in protective materials so as not to be damaged by or cause damage to other baggage. Bicycles packaged in cardboard or soft-sided cases will be transported as limited release items. Bicycles over 100 pounds in weight and/or 80 inches in total dimensions cannot be checked as baggage and can only be shipped as Cargo if the Customer is a Known Shipper.

A top-down view of an open hard-shell bicycle travel case packed with a road bike. The handlebars are detached, a cargo rack and helmet are nestled in the middle of the frame, and the frame tubes and fork are protected with green and orange pool noodles. The bike is strapped to the sides of the case.

A full-sized bike does not fit in a case less than 80 inches in total dimensions. No commercially available bike case is that small. They measured mine at 87″; it’s not close. Southwest here basically says that you can’t fly with a full-sized bicycle. If that’s what you mean, they should just say it, so I could choose a different airline.

The folks at the counter were slightly apologetic, and told me that I could go to Southwest Cargo in Terminal 1 to sign up for a cargo account. So, bike case in tow, I headed over to Terminal 1, which turns out to not be where Southwest Cargo is. No one in the terminal knew where Southwest Cargo might be, and there was no one at the info stand. So I used the White Courtesy Phone for the first time in my years of airports. An agent did pick up the phone, but they didn’t know where Southwest Cargo was, either. They Googled it and told me to walk towards Alan Shepard Way, which is useless advice to someone standing in Terminal 1 at OAK. So I Googled it myself and hauled my case out to a building well past anywhere pedestrians are expected to exist.

I did find Southwest Cargo out there. They told me it takes a week to become a Known Shipper, so they couldn’t take my case. They were apologetic, but not helpful. They said maybe FedEx Cargo would do it, but they didn’t know where that was.

I Googled FedEx Cargo, which is outside of the airport, grabbed a taxi to there, and they said they could ship it in two days for $1,000.

It was time to reconsider options. I love my bike and had it well set up for this trip, but in the end, I’ll ride anything. Nancy was already planning to rent a bike from Campus Wheel Works, so I had her talk to the shop to get me a bike, then rebook our flights because we’d missed our plane by now. In retrospect, I should have thought about canceling Southwest entirely and seeing if we could book an airline that allows bikes as luggage.

As it was, I grabbed a taxi home to drop off the bike, and got a ride back to the airport from a friend. We wound up getting to Buffalo just half an hour later than originally expected, and we’d go to pick up the bikes in the morning.

But no thanks to Southwest. Fuck them.